sloppy buddhist

Union Pacific 4-8-4 number

In abstract, Age, Black and White Photography, Buddhist philosophical concepts, Emotion, Fotografia, iPhoneography, Monochromia, Photography, Reflection, Words of music on 2020/01/19 at 04:00

According to Buddha

In our Western culture, although death has come out of the closet, it is still not openly experienced or discussed. Allowing dying to be so intensely present enriches both the preciousness of each moment and our detachment from it.

hedy bach images - fenje - 3

hedy bach images - fenje - 4

hedy bach images - fenje - 5

hedy bach images - fenje - 2

when i was just a little girl
i asked my mother, what will i be
will i be pretty
will i be rich
here’s what she said to me

que será, será
whatever will be, will be
the future’s not ours to see
que será, será
what will be, will be


under the Full Wolf Moon in loving memory of

Fenje (van der Velde) Fynebuik 

1932-06-13 to 2020-01-10

Death is a coming together…happy birthday mom…the moon was listening…love you always…

  1. Things were a little different at our house. Death happened all too often for it not to be discussed. Grandparents, parents, and many family members are all gone, some from unnatural causes (suicide).

    • …yes I understand Eddie…heartfelt ☺️💙I think we are allowing death to come out into the open…slowly…since my fathers death I’ve learned more…and I do talk death and dying…it’s life…I feel that talk allows to prepare for my reality as well…as Ram Dass said…like removing a tight shoe…big hugs and thank you for your teachings…I hope you know how much I appreciate them 🤓☺️❣️ hugs hedy

  2. Wonderful play with symmetry.

    • Thank you Rabirius I’ve been playing with this form or representation since the summer…I felt its worked for this post for me ☺️🤓💫 have another creative day ~ smiles hedy 😁

  3. So sorry. My mom was born in 1916. It’s been a long while since she passed. 🙏🙏🙏

    • Thank you kindly Ray ☺️…she is free of pain…she did it her way 💫 ❣️and they are still close by…I feel her energy ☺️

      • Time. Give yourself some time. When our mom passed, somebody told us that it takes five years to fully heal. One day, my sister Annie called me to tell that the past week was the first time that she didn’t think of our mom. Me too. It was almost five years to the day.

        • yes indeed Ray…time…I know…mourning…it is life…I felt it has taken me 2.5 years with my father…I’ve experienced early death of friends and I have learned that if I am to heal I cannot skirt the outside edges of my grief…I will heal…my mother always said I was a weed and I can survive anything…of course within reason…but I know what she meant…now I’m just exhausted 😌

          • One of the best things about living in New Orleans is that you come to understand the circle of life. When somebody passes we often hold a second line which is commonly called a jazz funeral. There is always music. It starts with a dirge and at a certain point evolves into happy brass music. I know you’re exhausted. The energy and time expend is huge. One of my old high school friends — we are getting ready to hold our 50th reunion next year — husband passed about a year ago. He’d been battling cancer for a couple of years. She was a highly though of dentist who retried to care for him. When he passed, she sent me an email telling that and asking a question. Was it wrong to feel relief? I answered in a word. “No.” I also explained why not. Same thing with you. There is a certain amount of relief that comes after a long fight. All I know is do what makes you whole, over and over and over.

          • yes…I understand Ray…the music piece sounds lovely…and there is sadness of course…and exhaustion having spent 12 years caring for aging parents from afar…is tough for different reasons…and my sister and I loved them dearly…they were really fine parents…taught us a lot which we now will also pursue…and yes now it’s a new chapter…it’s life…now off to see the little starseed…who will feel my heart ☺️👼 💙…I also appreciate your wisdom “All I know is do what makes you whole, over and over and over.”…thank you Ray ~ hugs hedy 🤗

          • You’ll work through it. One step at a time. Any wisdom that I have came from somewhere else. From a place much bigger than me. Peace.

          • ☺️🤗 hugs Ray…also reminds me of Thích Nhất Hạnh book…peace ☮️

          • I borrowed it from Bob Dylan. But, since it all comes from the same place…

  4. So sorry, I offer my sincere condolences. There will be better days ahead.

    • Thank you kindly Michael appreciate your kind words…been re-reading some Ram Dass…”our Soul is using bodies, egos, and personalities to work through the karma of each incarnation…I feel her energy close by ☺️🤓💫 have a peaceful day ☮️ hedy

  5. Sorry for your loss, Hedy. I hope you have many warm memories to cherish.

    • thank you Chris…death is sad…but I know my mother is free and she left on her own terms…we have many warm memories…she gave me many many messages over these past days and all though my life…she was a sparky and courageous woman. thank you for your kindness and thoughts ☺️❣️🤗 hugs for a good week…enjoy your students ~ smiles hedy ☺️

  6. Agreed. If death were more openly discussed, it would create greater awareness of how precious each moment is, and possibly make us kinder human beings.

    • kindness is always possible right…thank you kindly George for your comments…I’ve hidden from death…as I read The Tibetan Book of the Dead and walked my father to his death I’ve learn ‘it’s life’…my mother was fearless…I realized that the essence of my being…and the essence of my awareness…is beyond death. 🤓☺️ sending kindness ☮️ smiles hedy

  7. Such images . . . a lovely remembrance, Hedy. Peace be with you.

  8. Sending you peaceful thoughts, Hedy, and my condolences.

  9. What a beautiful tribute. Thank you for bringing your Mom to me in this way. Peace to you.

  10. Love these collages. What a wonderful tribute to your mom.

    • ☺️🤓thank you kindly Alison…she would like them too…she spoke about my InFocus works on the morning of her death…she’s with me…she is close by ☺️💚💫

  11. A beautiful–and reflective–tribute.
    Peace to you and yours.

    • Peace received Johnny…I throughly enjoyed creating this post…my mother was a creative force…we spoke of art until her last morning☺️🤓 sending ☮️ back ~ thank you kindly hedy ☺️

  12. Hugs to you and Karen

  13. May you have peace, Hedy, knowing that each ending is a new beginning.

    • Thank you kindly Michael…yes it’s time…space and as I appreciate the words of Ram Dass, “When you extricate yourself from the solid identification with your body, you begin to have the spaciousness to allow for the possibility that death is a part of the process of life – rather than the end of life.” I feel this very deeply. ~ smiles hedy ☺️💫

  14. Nothing and no one is ever truly lost in the fullness of time.
    We perceive only a small slice of what truly exists. Whatever has existed still exists in the quantum world that us just beyond our grasp.

    • thank you kindly Lloyd…yes meandering through many realms of consciousness…in the quantum world that us just beyond our grasp…I agree 🤓☺️ smiles hedy 💫

  15. Death confronts us with our own little space of time. We get more contact with the things which are the most important. It should always be a part of life. That’s how I feel it.

    • indeed Leegschrift thank you kindly 🤓 in the words of Ram Dass…”The most graceful thing to do is to just allow them to die peacefully and naturally – to “let go lightly.” ~ smiles hedy ☺️

  16. Not online often, I load many pages then read most WP at home when off line.

    All of your posts are beautiful and worth noting, but this one was especially sensitive and special. What a lovely tribute to one who was surely a beautiful person. The images are so tender – how could one not adore that beautiful young girl?

    • ☺️🤓 humble thank you Leesa 🧐🙏 I think that’s right playamart?…it’s tender to me as I received many messages in the days leading up to her death and now of course reflections of past teachings and learnings…life it is ☺️🤓❣️ps. She was the youngest of 7…7 years later…I think my grandmother was very tired…but I know for sure she was very loved…she was an artist…a free spirit 👼 compose a peaceful day ~ smiles Hedy

      • The most-comforting confirmation of ‘communication beyond death’ arrived via a long-white feather at my front door in the cloud forest. I had swept and dusted the dark-blue door mat, then drove the half hour to the nearest town for supplies and email. A friend wrote to tell me that a mutal friend had died; this lady often referred to me as ‘the love of my life’ and she was my father’s age. Her children were my friends… Last time home I stopped by to see her, but she was out, but she knew that I made the effort. She was worth the effort.
        So I drove home, and there waiting at the door was the pure-white feather |(a big one)… I retrieved it and smiled. The next morning when I opened the bedroom curtains, another small white feather was outside that window. For sure Sara was saying ‘Goodbye.’

        Again, your posts are always lovely.


        • thank you kindly Lisa ☺️ heartfelt message…I understand what you say…and as I was culling through old fotos…I came across a tiny white feather in a box…my mother believed in angels…I posted it on IG…and then yesterday I came across another that was stuck on a window in the house…another message…maybe a good bye as well…I’ve received many messages from humans who have died before…I find them comforting and I feel their presence…again I appreciate your message…smiles and hugs hedy ☺️🤗❣️

  17. Truly sorry Hedy. No matter how, it is always a great loss. One might console oneself thinking she’s at peace, but still. The dearly departed leave us with big holes inside our souls. Until the joyful memories overcome the sadness. I loved your photos, is the little girl your mother? And the photos above? Your grandparents? Sending peace, love and hugs…

    • yes you’re right I do tell myself many things in my hedy head 🤓🙃🙂Alison wrote me and I appreciated what she said I feel vulnerable…it would be nice if we could just let humans know we are mourning…there is a sort of shock in the differences of how humans die…prolonged and sudden are very different to me…I am grateful that I did not have to witness my mother suffer in a hospital or long term care or a hospice…human warehousing in Alberta is also an untold story…yes these are my van der Velde grandparents…and my mother was the baby in the family 👼…peace love and hugs received ☺️🤗❣️ thank you Brian 🤗

  18. Oh Hedy … I’m so very sorry. Lots of love and hugs my friend thinking of you and your dear Mum ..

    • Thank you kindly dear Julie ☺️ hugs and love received 🤗❣️ she was a free spirit…and I have learned many lessons through her…hoping you’re in your garden…my mother loved house plants and fresh flowers…she didn’t like dirt very much 🤓🙃🙂 smiles hedy

  19. So sorry to hear about your mom, Hedy. Such a nice tribute to her with these photographs.

    • thanks kindly Mic…it’s already three weeks…it was sudden but not unexpected…she was a creative force…and she taught me a lot..I feel her presence…and I will carry on…it’s life and I have much work to do yet! I know she’ll be encouraging somehow 😇 ☺️🤓 hope you’re well and you have a creative day ~ hugs hedy 🤗

      • It sounds like her influence will continue on through your life, a nice thought about how life is. Sudden but not unexpected; my mom died that way in 2011. Today would have been her 100th birthday. The world is so much different now than the world they grew up in. Take care, Hedy

        • for sure Mic…my mother left many messages…always in reflection…she did live on her own terms…and died on her on terms…I respect her for that…and we will celebrate her strong creative spirit later this month…you are right the world is a very different place every day…I’m taking a message from my mother today turn up the music…she loved music very much…big hugs for a peaceful day ~ hugs hedy ☺️🤗💫

  20. Sending strength, warmest thoughts, and deepest condolences.

Comments are closed.

%d bloggers like this: